Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Godzilla House Shoes

So it's been what... three months? Still no followers. Such is life.
Still... I have a story to tell you.

I was 5 years old when my uncle gave me my Godzilla house shoes. They were great. They were huge and green and had these giant cotton claws on the front of them. Every time you stepped down, and loud and thunderous "RAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWR!!!!!!!!!!!!" sounded. I loved them. My uncle and father loved them. My step mother and three step sisters saw trouble on the horizon. I wore them everywhere in the house. You knew I was coming before I did.
"John's coming down the stares."
"How can you tell?"

"Where's John?"
"In the garage."

Had my step mother and sisters thought about it, how you knew where i was every second, they would have never sabotaged my fun times.
About two weeks after christmas, my left slipped stopped working
*RAWR* step *RAWR* step *RAWR* step

I had no idea what had happened. But, because I was an idiot 5 year old, I just let it go. I didnt tell dad or check the batteries or anything. As far as I was concerned, two little monsters lived in the shoes and one of them was probably sleeping.
A week later, the other one stopped working and, as a result, I stopped wearing them.
I was 15 when my step sister Amanda told me that she snuck into my room while I was asleep and removed the batteries. All I had to do was replace the damn batteries.
I hate my step sister.
Not really though.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Dee Eye Vee Oh Are See Ee

So I signed the final divorce documents about a week ago.
In three or so weeks, I'll be single. 98% of men would give me a high five. they would say "Now you don't need to deal with that bitch!" or something to that effect.
I love my wife. I didn't need to "deal" with her in the first place.
I'm kinda... pretty emotionally fucked up right now. I need to be alone.
I need to play some Castlevania... I need a sandwich, some hot chocolate... and a purring cat on my lap.
mostly... I need my wife back...